[quote]You didn't mention what luck you'd had with Left 4 Dead. The competitive multiplayer community in Left 4 Dead is probably the nastiest towards new players. Don't bother for now. On the other hand, Left 4 Dead's co-op is pretty accepting of all skill levels. Play "Campaign" mode - that's regular co-op. Don't go to expert difficulty until you are good. To be more safe from nasty insults, don't even go to advanced difficulty until you've completed a few games. If you can develop the habit, use "push-to-talk" and a microphone. It makes a world of difference. Unfortunately, Left 4 Dead is currently empty - you'll have an easier time finding friendly teams in Left 4 Dead 2.
I bought Left 4 Dead for a solo experience at first and then liked the game so much I suggested it to a friend who barely plays games anymore but does on rare occassion. We tried coop one night and both enjoyed it very much and have played a lot since, and I found a few people on my forums who have played with me as well. I also played Halo and Halo 2 coop offline on the TV with that same original friend, so perhaps that counts as previous experience and I should have noted it.
I have never launched Left 4 Dead and played a random game though, that just sounds like a bad idea. I have a list of 3 or 4 people I will play with and that's that.
The absolute worst, most-frantic games you can join are the every-man-for-himself games. Sorry that you picked that option first.
I assumed it was the most basic and easy to use multiplayer type, as well as the only one where my performance or lack-there-of would not annoy anyone else, that is why I picked deathmatch. I will probably do so again for the second game I pick and will then try team stuff on my third go.
I actually enjoy playing L4D in campaign mode with randoms. You get to learn a lot about how other people play the game, how you think, how they think, what personalities drive people. i.e. someone takes on the "let's go do this role", someone else takes on the "bitch about everyone shooting them" role, someone else runs off to the end of the map and then bitches when they die... then you get those games where everyone is chatting away about music/games and you're all working together and you absolutely pwn the map and everyone pats each other on the back. it's an experience. there's highs and lows, but the highs are worth it.
Whereas if i play with mates, we end up trying to show off who knows more exploits in the maps (well at least in l4d1... not so much in l4d2)